I. I am thy Land Rover who brought you out of the muddy field, sheltered you from the winter’s snow, and causes the non-believer to cast furtive glances thy way. Worship me.
II. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Range Rover Sport nor his heated garage, nor his battery charger, for you may need them one day.
III. Thou shalt remember to feed thy children after purchasing all needed Land Rover parts, for they, too, deserve nourishment as much as your Discovery
IV. Thou shalt not deceive thy spouse or significant other into thinking that thee is partaking in a romantic picnic when indeed thou art going out to look at the Series Land Rover parked in a field for the past 10 years.
V. Thou shalt not love thy spouse and children more than thy Land Rover.
VI. Thou shalt not despise thy neighbor's Land Cruiser, nor his XTerra, nor even his Lexus, for he knows not of his sins.
VII. Thou shalt not tell thy spouse the entire cost of thy latest restoration - at least not all at the same time - nor shall thy share the sacred invoice with a spouse who lacks the appropriate enthusiasm. They, too, can be saved.
VIII. Thou shalt not prepare a carburetor rebuild on the same table as supper, for unclean foods will foul the jets.
IX. Thou shalt not allow thy sons and daughters to wed in holy matrimony during sacred holidays, such as the Mid Atlantic Rally, the Solihull Society National Rally, the British Invasion, or the Maine Winter Romp.
X. There is only one Green Oval. One must not worship false idols, such as three-pointed stars.
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